BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51 
Trump selects Jeb Bush for Secretary of the Department of Low Energy 
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
Biden replaces Women’s History Month with Transwomen’s History Month
WASHINGTON, DC—In his latest brave executive order, President Biden has eliminated Women's History Month and replaced it with Transwomen's History...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Cuomo wins Al-Qaeda’s ‘Jihadi of the Year’ prize for killing 3x more Americans than 9/11
MIDDLE EAST—Emmy winner and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo scored another award this week as Al-Qaeda honored him with their...
Supreme Court Justice Roberts plugs ears, yells ‘I can’t hear you’ in response to election fraud cases
WASHINGTON, DC—The highest court in the United States has rejected the last legal contest to the widespread election fraud in...
Trump delivers his 5th State of the Union speech from Florida
ORLANDO—In a unique change of pace, President Trump delivered his fifth State of the Union speech to an enthusiastic crowd...
World stunned to hear a US president form complete sentences for the first time in a month
ORLANDO—Viewers around the world were shocked and stunned to hear a president make coherent points and form complete sentences for...
Cuomo updates pronouns to herr/Führer
Breaking: New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo today proclaimed, “From this day forward, I will be referred to as, ‘herr/Führer’....
ALERT: Pillsbury Doughboy reported missing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—General Mills representative and pastry enthusiast, the Pillsbury Doughboy, has been reported missing to the authorities. Police are not...
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
Shocking study finds 100% of people who support abortion have already been born
WASHINGTON, DC—Researchers at The Brookings Institute recently published a groundbreaking study on the topic of abortion. The study, which was...
Biden to target more women in his Syrian airstrikes than any previous president
WASHINGTON, DC—Worried about claims that his first military action as commander in chief would unfairly leave out females, President Biden...
