In lieu of aid, Kamala enrolls California fire victims in Jelly of the Month Club 
Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
Biden: ‘No constitutional amendment is absolute so…slavery is back on the table’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden opened the door to a renewed American slave trade after stating that "no constitutional amendment is absolute."...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Prince Phillip has information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
LONDON—Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, has information that will lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton, sources close...
Jordan Peterson turns 5 copies of ’12 Rules for Life’ into 5,000
TORONTO- Upon returning to campus following a lengthy sabbatical, University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson was greeted by 5,000 fans...
BREAKING: Biden outlaws guns for everyone except criminals and people guarding him
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden today signed several executive orders outlawing guns for everyone except for criminals and people guarding him. "Criminals...
If capitalism is so great, why can’t a Trans and Fat Studies double PhD find a job?
I'm going to say it (or type it on my $500 iPhone): I've had enough of this whole capitalism thing....
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
BREAKING: US military to accept people who identify as good soldiers but are biologically no-skill fat slobs
WASHINGTON, DC—In a brave path forward under the Biden administration, the Pentagon is set to eliminate all discrimination in the...
BREAKING: Arkansas is first state to allow minors to cut off their arms if they identify as a T-Rex
LITTLE ROCK, AR--Governor Asa Hutchinson on Monday signed legislation Monday that made Arkansas the first state to allow minors to...
Transginger movement builds steam amid push to be less white
US—With the recent popular trend to “be less white,” caucasian people are scouring the color spectrum in search of a...
CDC recommends everyone now wear tin foil face masks while in public
WASHINGTON — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) readied new guidelines Monday on coronavirus protections including an innovative...
