Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Democratic volunteers ensure deceased voters get ‘I voted’ stickers too
PHILADELPHIA—Democratic volunteers across the country spent hours ensuring that deceased voters received their "I voted" stickers on their graves. "They...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares victory in 2020 presidential election
SOUTH BEND—In a surprise announcement, former Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg has declared victory in the 2020 US presidential election....
BREAKING: Chicago polls turning away voters for not being dead
CHICAGO—Despite repeated efforts to inform the public that living people can vote in Chicago just like dead people, many poll...
Ask your doctor if Trunalim is right for you
Always sleepy? Slurring speech? Forgetting words? Maybe you should ask your doctor if Trunalim (trunalimunumaprzure TDS) is right for you....
Biden accidentally votes for Trump
WILMINGTON, DE—Call it the mother of all campaign gaffes: the Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has accidentally voted for the...
BREAKING: Biden gets largest turnout ever stopping by a Trump rally
BUTLER, PA—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden got his largest turnout ever for a campaign rally as he made a last-minute...
Leftists demand peaceful transfer of power by destroying the country
US--Leftists across the country are demanding a peaceful transfer of power after the presidential election by firebombing police, looting, and...
Biden promises to transgender in first 100 days, becoming the first woman president
In a last minute pander, Joe Biden has announced that, if he's elected, he will transition to a woman to...
BREAKING: Donald Trump has not denounced white supremacy in the past 24 hours
WASHINGTON DC—President Donald Trump has not denounced white supremacy in the past 24 hours, a clear indication that he is,...
Kamala Harris promises to remove white stripes on the US flag if elected
US—Democratic presidential vice-presidential nominee Kamala Harris has promised to finally get rid of the white stripes on the American flag,...
