Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster 
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!” 
BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients 
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous 
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason 
BREAKING: Nevada switches to Common Core math with 10k Republican votes left to count
LAS VEGAS—Election officials in Nevada warned that they may not have results for the presidential election until some time after...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Hillary Clinton says Republicans should accept defeat just like she did in 2016
CHAPPAQUA, NY--Former Secretary of State and former presidential nominee Hillary Clinton made the rounds on various news shows Friday scolding...
Biden: ‘They aren’t illegal ballots, they’re undocumented votes’
WASHINGTON DC—Presidential nominee Joe Biden has defended the vast number of illegal votes being uncovered by citizens around the country...
BREAKING: Georgia flips blue after Stacey Abrams finds thousands of new ballots in her belly button
ATLANTA—Former Georgia Representative Stacey Abrams has discovered thousands of previously uncounted 2020 presidential ballots in her belly button, 100 percent...
Jeffrey Epstein’s prison guards hired to ensure secure election in Philadelphia
PHILADELPHIA—The New York Metropolitan Jail guards who were watching Jeffrey Epstein while he was suicided have been brought in to ensure...
BREAKING: Masked man commits armed robbery in broad daylight
PHILADELPHIA—A masked man has committed armed robbery in broad daylight. The robbery occurred Friday morning at the Pennsylvania Convention Center,...
BREAKING: Local Procrastinators Club calls election, declares Biden vice president
PHILADELPHIA—The local Procrastinators Club has officially called the presidential election and declared Joe Biden vice president. Biden, who is running...
BREAKING: Biden breaks record for most dead votes ever for a presidential candidate in US history
US—Joe Biden has received more votes from dead people than any presidential candidate in U.S. history, surpassing the record set...
BREAKING: Archaeologists find boxes of US ballots in newly unearthed Egyptian tomb
EGYPT—An archeological mission just unearthed a new tomb in Al-Bhidenfa in southern Egypt. The discovery includes well preserved mummies, artwork,...
Nevada apologizes for technical difficulties while they try to steal the election for Biden
CARSON CITY, NV—Nevada election officials apologized for technical difficulties while they scramble to steal the election for Democratic presidential nominee...
