BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them 
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’ 
BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack 
BREAKING: Biden unilaterally mobilizes dreaded Trunalimunumaprzure
DALLAS, PA--Presidential nominee Joe Biden's attempt to motivate the crowd at the Luzerne County's political rally went abruptly off the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden campaign beats Trump; is in 3 states at once
SHEBOYGAN, WI—As the Trump campaign visits multiple states a day in the last days of the election, Democratic presidential nominee...
Ukraine treasury honors Joe Biden with a “zero cents” coin
KIEV—Ukraine has honored the US Democratic presidential nominee with an official Joe Biden coin in support of the candidate through...
Coconut-picking monkeys riot COSTCO after PETA forces thousands of job losses
BANGKOK--Monkeys in major Thai cities turned to rioting after PETA pressure on retailers forces thousands into joblessness and poverty. A...
Biden rallies break out across Philadelphia following police shooting
Philadelphia city officials have issued a curfew for Wednesday night, after two days of Joe Biden rallies left dozens of...
Hunter Biden secures election night sponsors for his dad
WILMINGTON, DE—Hunter Biden has secured several election night sponsors for his dad, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. “I knew Hunter...
MS-13 gang members threaten to leave US if Trump is reelected
US—Following the lead of celebrities who have threatened to leave the US is Trump is reelected, members of the notorious...
New polls show Biden winning nearly every province in China
BEIJING—A new Pew Pew poll shows that Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is winning in nearly every province in China...
In first act as associate justice, Amy Barrett mandates every woman have 10 children
WASHINGTON DC—The worst fears of progressives across the country have been realized as Amy Coney Barrett, in her first act...
Dar’shun Kendrick slams Trump for claiming ‘seals’ killed bin Laden
ATLANTA—Progressive journalists and politicians are not letting President Donald Trump get away with any more lies. They quickly and ferociously...
