BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Church disguises itself as an abortion clinic so government will let it stay open during lockdown
Richmond, VA — With churches around the country closing and violators of stay-at-home orders being fined and imprisoned, one church...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Harambe has died from coronavirus in New York City
Harambe, the beloved lowland gorilla who was shot and killed in 2016 after befriending a little boy at the Cincinnati...
Michigan Governor enlists Combine Army to help enforce quarantine
Detroit, MI -- According to embedded sources, Michigan's designated administrator Gretchen Whitmer has reached out to the Combine Army from...
VIDEO: Actual footage of New York City counting COVID-19 deaths
Genesius Times has discovered actual footage of New York City officials counting COVID-19 deaths. Viewer discretion is advised:
China recommends US remain closed until they can afford to buy it on eBay
Though nobody believes China has vanquished the virus, it looks like they are back open for business. Productivity seems almost...
BREAKING: Amid falling oil prices, Exxon forced to layoff several congressmen
Goldman Sachs said on Sunday that oil prices would continue to fall in the coming weeks due to a coronavirus-led...
Joe Biden wonders why he didn’t get any trick-or-treaters yesterday
Presummed Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is heartbroken that he didn't get any trick-or-treaters at his house yesterday, Easter Sunday...
Wildlife reclaiming parks during lockdown: ‘The brontosauruses have quadrupled’
YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK—Usually, when you drive through Yosemite Village, you have a tough time not running over gnarly rock climbers...
Fauci blames Trump for Fauci saying we don’t have to worry about coronavirus in January
Every day this Fauci guy kicks our President in the groin and keeps on smiling at the camera as if...
Amid COVID pandemic, nation’s hospitals request fewer ventilators and more cowbell
Nurse crews are absolutely killing it in their response to a Tik Tok dance challenge during the COVID-19 pandemic. The...
