BREAKING: Biden issues comprehensive list of everyone involved in federal crimes 
BREAKING: AOC claims she was nearly raped by Trump’s inauguration ceremony 
BREAKING: Biden pardons several ‘totally innocent’ people for crimes they didn’t commit 
BREAKING: Biden pardons all criminals except cute old grandma who waved flag in Capitol Jan 6 
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider 
Hospitals making up for lost revenue by adding bed-side slot machines
President Trump, just yesterday, asked his Cabinet to 'think out of the box' on healthcare. Secretary of Casinos, Professor Hold...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: 66 people died in Chicago today from COVID-19-related gunshot wounds
CHICAGO — Public health officials were stunned as they added 66 people to the COVID-19 death toll today. All 66...
Hipster still wearing skinny jeans despite not being able to show them off in Zoom meetings
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Strictly abiding by Michigan's lock-down regulations, hipster Andrew Sadura is still wearing his favorite pair of...
LA Health Dept. giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
LOS ANGELES — The LA Department of Health is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Trump mandates all hotels include a copy of ‘The Coronavirus Bible’ during pandemic
President Trump has mandated that all hotels replace their Gideons Bible with a copy of "The Coronavirus Bible (Revised Satirical...
House passes latest coronavirus stimulus bill containing 12 pounds of literal horse dung in it
WASHINGTON — The House on Friday narrowly passed a $3 trillion coronavirus relief package crafted by Democrats that would include another round...
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
BREAKING: 23andMe reveals Nancy Pelosi shares 99.97% of her DNA with the Wuhan bat
Have you seen the Wuhan bat? The teeth alone are scary enough but put that together with the rest and...
CDC releases official ‘contact tracer’ uniform and haircut
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released the official uniform and haircut for the contact tracer agents...
CNN CEO selects Greta Thunberg to conduct triple bypass surgery on him
CNN CEO, Jeff Zucker, is in need of triple heart bypass surgery and he has selected none other than world-renowned...
