Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
AOC to wait to run for president until 2021 when there will be fewer candidates
Popular democratic socialist Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has declared her intention of running for president, but not in the crowded 2020...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Justin Trudeau devastated that declaring a right to unicorns doesn’t make them exist
It was a rough day for the prime minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau. Longing for the magic of his childhood,...
Kamala Harris: ‘White lab coats a sign of doctors’ racism’
Doubling down on her recent tweet about doctors being racist, 2020 Democratic Presidential candidate Kamala Harris said that doctors and...
Beto livestreams a bout of violent diarrhea
In an effort to stay ultra-relative and relateable, the Democratic presidential candidate Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke has been livestreaming absolutely...
Awkward! Leaked memo clarifies Mark Zuckerberg’s deep-seated affinity for fascism
In a leaked memo, from Facebook’s headquarters in Silicone Valley, some extremely statements were made by its founder and CEO...
OPINION: If you are anti-abortion then you are probably a white supremacist
This may come as a surprise, but there is a long dark relationship between white colonialism and anti-choice legislation. In...
Woke leftist upset at Game of Thrones ending: ‘Not at all real’
After investing eight years watching the HBO series Game of Thrones, millennial free-lancer Brandon Taylor is fiercely upset with the...
Antifa member takes break from overthrowing capitalism to snap selfie with iPhone
The life of an anti-capitalist, anti-fascist, commie can be very tough and it's not very rewarding. Antifa members must take...
Ocasio-Cortez releases university degree to silence skeptics
Many people have become threatened by the success of an intelligent woman of color in a powerful position—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—so much...
Sanders to send homeless to ‘adult abortion camps’ to save us from all those unwanted people
Bernie Sanders has been on the march, protesting against Georgia's and Alabama's Medieval abortion bans. Recently, he just suggested a...
