BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: Trump signs executive order allowing straight white people in commercials again 
Registrar says votes don’t count until you post an image of your “I voted” sticker on social media
Disenfranchisement of voters has been a controversial topic since Jim Crow—that bastard—tried to keep people from voting in the South....
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Smartphone user thrilled by mobile site’s thirty-seven pop-ups
A Sarasota, NY man, Perry Pouche, who recently upgraded to the latest smartphone technology, says that he really loves it...
Local Life Teen music director to replace guitars with chainsaws
In a bold effort to make the liturgy more "modern" and culturally relevant, the music director at the local St....
Activist: Trump should “abort” caravan before it reaches border
Tensions are rising as the caravan of undocumented Central American nationals make their way to the United States border. One...
City outlaws dressing up as anything but yourself for Halloween
In an effort to curb illicit cultural appropriation during this Halloween season, the city of Hartford, Connecticut has banned the...
Thousands March to Demand That America Become More Like The Countries They’re Fleeing
A group of tens of thousands of well-dressed poor people marched through the streets of their impoverished Central American countries,...
Communist tweets “Death to Capitalism” on iPhone while slamming down Big Mac
An ardent socialist and vocal proponent of "full communism" has recently tweeted, "Death to CAPITALISM!!!" Stephen Loseritz, 7th year gender...
Black man sued for not baking KKK cake
A black man, Reginald Smith of Lake, Colorado is being sued for not providing a cake for a KKK rally...
De Blasio signs bill allowing “sparkly unicorn gender” on birth certificates
New York Mayor Bill de Blasio signed a bill into law Tuesday allowing New York City residents to select a...
Ancestry DNA test shows that everyone is Native American
In an effort to prove that he feels the pain of his marginalized brothers and sisters, Clay Egbertson of Encino,...
