Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Justice Department has investigated itself and found it did nothing wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—Department of Justice special counsel John Durham, who has been examining abuses during the Russia investigation, has successfully secured...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden fitted with anti-sniff cone to protect children
WOONSOCKET, RI—Students at Woonsocket Elementary rejoiced as President Biden arrived for his latest unity speech to berate half the country...
BREAKING: Biden renames great white sharks ‘white supremacist fish’
NEW YORK—Following a rash of shark attacks that have plagued American beaches this summer, activists are calling for renaming great...
BREAKING: Joe Biden defies ageist critics, announces he and Dr. Jill Biden are expecting baby
In a stunning turn of events, President* Joe Biden has defied critics who claim he is too old for the...
OP-ED By My SUV: I Was Born A Kia, But I Identify As A Honda
While I may look like another typical SUV, I’m not. Not at all. And that’s because I’m the first automobile...
Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Local dad’s joke fails to get any laughs
Local dad, Jim Johnson, made a valiant attempt at humor yesterday during a family gathering, but unfortunately failed to get...
Lightfoot to Abbott: ‘It’s inhumane to send immigrants here to Chicago where it’s so dangerous’
CHICAGO—In a press conference earlier today, outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago made a public statement directed towards Texas Governor...
Local woman continues family tradition of hyphenated name to smash the patriarchy
Janice Smith-Wilson-Johannes-Rodriguez, a child of progressive parents and grandparents was born to Jimbo Johannes-Rodriguez and Sha'nay Smith-Wilson. She always knew...
