BREAKING: Ohio identifies as Ukrainian province to get disaster relief funds from Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—The US state of Ohio has officially identified as a Ukrainian province in order to get disaster relief funds...
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Eyewitness to testify that Donald Trump lunged at steering wheel to crash Ohio train
EAT PALESTINE, OH—An eyewitness close to the administration is to testify that former President Donald Trump lunged at the steering...
Nation starting to think appointing someone Transportation Secretary just because he’s gay isn’t such a good idea
US—People across the country are starting to think that appointing someone as Transportation Secretary because he's gay isn't such a...
Biden only needed 3 shots of adrenochrome to stay up this late
WASHINGTON, DC--America can rest easy. We are in good hands. If you were worried about the mental and physical health...
BREAKING: President Biden Utters First Fully Coherent Sentence of His Presidency
UNITED STATES—President Biden broke a record today after uttering his first fully coherent sentence of his presidency. The sentence? “Why...
BREAKING: Biden posts TikTok video celebrating the end of Chinese spying
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden posted a video of him dancing on the TikTok social media platform to celebrate his ending...
BREAKING: Montana raises Ukrainian flag so that US will defend their airspace
BILLINGS, MT—Following the discovery of a Chinese spy balloon floating above the state, Montana Governor Greg Gianforte raised the Ukrainian...
FBI reports they found nothing that would incriminate the FBI in Biden beach home search
WILMINGTON, DE—The FBI has reported that they have found nothing that would incriminate the FBI in the search of President*...
BREAKING: CNN releases pics of police officers charged with Tyre Nichols beating
(CNN) The pictures of the five police officers charged with beating Memphis resident Tyre Nichols—an unarmed black man—have been released....
BREAKING: Biden sends 31 Abrams tanks to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a major increase of U.S. support to Ukraine, President* Joe Biden has signed off on sending 31 Stacey Abrams...
