Gender reveal party delayed 3 years while parents decide identity for child
CALICO, CA—A local gender reveal party has been delayed for three years while the parents decide what identity the child...
California
Newsom takes break from force-vaccinating people to lecture everyone about bodily autonomy
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has taken a short break from forcing people to wear masks, stay inside, and getting vaccinated in...
BREAKING: Newsom declares state of emergency after Russia destroys several California cities
SACRAMENTO—The Russian offensive in Ukraine has spread to California as several cities have been utterly destroyed. California Governor Gavin Newsom...
Newsom mandates a 10k-seat ‘Looters Section’ at Superbowl LVI
LOS ANGELES—Spectators paying upwards of $10,000 (yes, you read that right) to watch the LA Rams and Cincinnati Bengals slug...
Newsom tackles LA train looting crisis by making cute little BLM sculpture from leftover trash
LOS ANGELES—California Governor Gavin Newsom turned lemons into lemonade today by creating a fun little "Black Lives Matter" sculpture out...
Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its San Francisco-area stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
BREAKING: Virginia legalizes rapes by men who wear skirts
RICHMOND, VA—Governor Ralph Northam signed the most progressive sexual assault bill in the country today as Virginia legalized rapes for...
California law mandates stores carry ‘My Little Communist’ action figures
SACREMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law a mandate that requires all stores sell a gender-neutral "My Little Communist" action...
CNN: Biden draws huge boat parade off California coast
(CNN) LOS ANGELES—While there wasn't much support for President* Joe Biden during his campaign, the first Alzheimer's patient in the...
BREAKING: California legalizes needle rape for K-12 schools
SACRAMENTO—California on Friday became the first state to legalize needle rape for all public and private schoolchildren, a move affecting...
