BREAKING: Elon Musk opens salt mine sourced only from liberal tears following Twitter acquisition
AUSTIN—Tesla CEO Elon Musk is venturing into new businesses. He is now selling salt sourced solely from liberal tears following...
Elon Musk
I’m going on a hunger strike if Elon Musk takes over Twitter
I haven't written in a few months because I've been paralyzed with fear that my lone outlet in the world...
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
CNN: Elon Musk could threaten free speech on Twitter by literally allowing people to speak freely
(CNN) Elon Musk became the largest shareholder of Twitter on Monday, which could threaten free speech on the platform by...
Miss Russia leads Ukrainian prisoners of war in festive parade to concentration camp
DONETSK, UKRAINE—In one of the few festive occasions of war, Miss Russia Helga Lavrov marched Ukrainian POW’s through Donetsk, Ukraine...
BREAKING: Russian tanks invade International Space Station
SPACE—The United States is reeling as the Russians land another blow, taking over the space station. NASA received this report...
Struggling Mark Zuckerberg launches GoFundMe page as net worth drops under $100 billion
Mark Zuckerberg has started a GoFundMe donation page as his net worth plummeted to under $100 billion following his company's...
Leonardo DiCaprio presents his top 10 bucket list for the 9 years left of Earth
With just a limited amount of time left on the planet Earth, Leonardo DiCaprio’s shared his official bucket list of...
BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
‘Matrix’ Producers replace ‘red pill’ with another blue pill from Pfizer
HOLLYWOOD—When the directors of the original Matrix film envisioned the iconic red pill scene, they had no idea that all...
