Gavin Newsom

Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run

Gumpers January 14, 2022

SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...

Gov. Newsom named U-Haul’s #1 salesman of 2021

Exavier Saskagoochie January 6, 2022

SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom is racking up the awards. For the first time this year, Newsom has been named U-Haul’s number...

Time accidentally names African-American Elon Musk ‘Person of the Year’ because they thought he was black

Exavier Saskagoochie December 14, 2021

NEW YORK—Time Magazine has issued an apology for selecting the South African-American Elon Musk as its "Person of the Year"...

California law mandates stores carry ‘My Little Communist’ action figures

Richie Richards October 14, 2021

SACREMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law a mandate that requires all stores sell a gender-neutral "My Little Communist" action...

BREAKING: California legalizes needle rape for K-12 schools

Exavier Saskagoochie October 4, 2021

SACRAMENTO—California on Friday became the first state to legalize needle rape for all public and private schoolchildren, a move affecting...

BREAKING: Fox News calls tomorrow’s California recall election for Gavin Newsom

Exavier Saskagoochie September 13, 2021

SACRAMENTO—Fox News has officially called tomorrow's California recall election for Governor Gavin Newsom hours before in-person voting has begun. After...

BREAKING: California decriminalizes rapes lasting under 1 minute

Exavier Saskagoochie August 6, 2021

SACRAMENTO, CA—Citing justice based on California's decriminalization of theft under $1000, Governor Gavin Newsom has unilaterally decriminalized rapes lasting less...