White House: Biden’s hands identify as separate personality dubbed ‘Handsy’
WASHINGTON, DC—Psychologists say, after years of repression, it looks like President Biden has developed split personality disorder. A representative from...
Jen Psaki
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
BREAKING: Psaki tests positive for COVID; will miss Biden’s false flag assassination in Europe
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said she tested positive for COVID-19 Tuesday so she will not be joining President* Joe Biden...
BREAKING: Biden’s teleprompter to give first State of the Union Address
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials in the Biden administration have become increasingly worried about Biden’s mental health, especially over the high number of...
‘Longshot Louie’ puts 1.3M on Ukraine at 40 to 1 in Vegas
LAS VEGAS—Bettors are moving on pre-war odds in the Ukraine - Russian conflict. As troop movements develop, Caesars betting manager,...
Biden playing Risk nonstop in Oval Office to prepare for Ukraine conflict
WASHINGTON, DC—Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Mark Milley set up a game of Risk in the Oval Office, to help...
Biden admin to require proof of vaccination to receive free crack
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration has made it clear that proof of full vaccination will be required to receive the administration's...
Bidens welcome dog gifted from President Xi
WASHINGTON, DC—The Bidens introduced the newest resident of The White House: a dog gifted to the First Family by President...
After being caught with locket of hair in mask, White House confirms Biden’s sniffing addiction
(CNN) The White House today has confirmed President* Joe Biden's hair sniffing addiction after he was caught with a locket...
Biden to build new border wall to protect Americans from ‘American’ts’
Washington D.C. - “There’s good walls and there’s bad walls.” President Joe Biden announced last night at a fund raiser...
