Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Arkansas is first state to allow minors to cut off their arms if they identify as a T-Rex
LITTLE ROCK, AR--Governor Asa Hutchinson on Monday signed legislation Monday that made Arkansas the first state to allow minors to...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
Biden hires the Wizard of Oz to interpret his immigration policy
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is quite sure what US President Joe Biden's immigration policy is, least of all, the president himself....
Following Air Force One debacle, Biden installs stair lifts throughout White House
WASHINGTON, DC—You’ve probably seen the video dozens of times already of Biden tripping on the stairs of Air Force One...
Fauci Orders ‘No Sex Until AIDS is Cured’
WASHINGTON, DC—As states begin easing back on lockdown restrictions, Dr. Anthony Fauci is now pushing for new draconian measures to...
BREAKING: Biden outlaws shooting people at grocery stores
Following a mass shooting in Boulder, Colorado Monday, President Biden has decided to take unprecedented measures to protect the country...
Secret Service hires Nepali sherpa to carry Biden up and down White House stairs
NEPAL—The United States Secret Service announced today that they have added a Nepali Sherpa named Norbu to the President’s security...
Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind...
