NBA players join Paralympics after shooting themselves in the foot
Long Live the NBA. Oh wait, the NBA no longer exists. What? Yep. After poking most of their fans right...
NBA
BREAKING: Millionaires refuse to play with bouncy ball to protest inequality
MILWAULKEE—Several grown men have refused to play with bouncy balls for millions of dollars to protest inequality. "There is serious...
NBA to replace ‘all that basketball stuff’ with a 60-minute virtue signaling competition
ORLANDO—The NBA season is set to resume next week in Orlando, Florida, and the league’s court is ready for what...
Nike makes sweatshop workers work overtime to stitch ‘Equality’ on NBA jerseys
BEAVERTON, OR—Nike has agreed to force its thousands of sweatshop workers to work overtime for free in order to stitch...
Michael Bloomberg to start growth hormone treatments
It's true. Michael Bloomberg is surging, however, not in height. X-rays of his growth plates find they fused 107 years...
LeBron James releases new cereal for China protests called “Bootlicker-O’s”
Well this is stunning and brave. LeBron James, the best basketball player in the known universe, released a commemorative cereal...
