DNC replaces 2020 convention with 5 minutes of loud, sustained yelling at images of Trump
After dismal ratings, the Democratic National Committee will do away with their traditional convention in 2020 and instead spend five...
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Breaking: Biden picks Kamala Harris to creepily sniff for the next three months
The decision is in! Finally. After months of painstakingly waiting the senile old vice president cum presidential hopeful picked his...
Michelle Obama complains about the black American wealth gap from her $12M Martha’s Vineyard home
As most people know by now, Michelle Obama grew up in the Deep South, the daughter of a sharecropper. Her...
Texas Governor sets up ‘Wall of Moms’ to keep Californians out of the state
“A great idea is a great idea!” Texas governor Greg Abbott shouted as he watched the “wall of moms” separate...
BREAKING: Planned Parenthood pledges 1 dollar to Black Lives Matter for every POC aborted
Sometimes a man can be confronted by stunning bravery. Other times he finds himself at odds with the bravely stunning....
Local ladies attend ‘Worst clam rally in history’
WALKER, LA — Three local woman prepared their finest clam dishes in preparation for their first clam rally. Three hours...
Newsom reminds Californians to only go outside to poop on the sidewalk
In a stern warning amid the raging COVID-19 pandemic, Governor Gavin Newsom issued a reminder for Californians only to go...
Amid COVID pandemic, nation’s hospitals request fewer ventilators and more cowbell
Nurse crews are absolutely killing it in their response to a Tik Tok dance challenge during the COVID-19 pandemic. The...
Breaking: New Orleans Coronavirus outbreak caused by Popeye’s new fried bat combo
Upping the ante in the Chicken flame wars, Popeye’s released their boldest meal to date. Playing off of the Corona...
GT’s Definitive Guide to Panicking During the Coronavirus Pandemic
There has been a lot of confusion during the chaos of the coronavirus plague and pandemic. The CDC has said...
