Entire family loses salvation during drive to church
Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that...
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Urban Dictionary to add 347,823 new non-binary pronouns in 2020 in order to alleviate confusion
In a stunning revelation, the New Urban Dictionary is about to reveal almost 350,000 new Woke non-binary pronouns simply because...
Bernie promises Americans a 0-hour work day if elected president
At the Iowa United Food and Commercial Workers forum on Sunday, democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was asked whether he would...
Suckers now born every 11.9 seconds: scientist
A sucker is now born every 11.9 seconds, a new study in Science shows. “Americans who haven’t opened a book...
Buttigieg wants to replace ‘bigoted, patriarchal’ standard alphabet with gay one
Pete Buttigieg has spent some time thinking on how to strengthen the intersectional structures largely absent in the lives of...
Cultural appropriation for Halloween forbidden unless you’re a Democratic presidential candidate
In an effort to curb illicit cultural appropriation during this Halloween season, the city of Des Moines, Iowa has banned...
Breaking: Justin Trudeau to play lead role in Brokeback Mountain reboot
Justin Trudeau is said to have signed on to play the lead in the Brokeback Mountain reboot. A story about...
Thunberg to Pope, “Have you accepted climate change as your lord and savior?”
The path of the evangelist is one of constant hope and failure, so one should not read too much into...
Breaking: Pope Francis endorses Elizabeth Warren for President
Not one to shy away from political discourse, Pope Francis has thrown his hat—er headdress—into the discussion of who will...
Swedish lovechild of Bill Nye takes up the torch of telling people how to live their lives
The environment was intense as 16 year old Greta Thunberg yelled recycled platitudes at a room full of adults who...
