BREAKING: Travel bans aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials have declared that it is no longer racist to restrict travel from Africa after President* Joe Biden restricted...
Health
How to Get Over Hesitance of Giving Your Kids Deadly Drugs to Prevent Diseases that Don’t Harm them
We at Genesius Times care about your health. But we care about our bottom line more. That's why we're offering...
Gates warns he will release smallpox if people don’t get COVID vaccine
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will release the deadliest disease known to man—smallpox—if people don’t get vaccinated...
Rittenhouse agrees to help with medical in the riots after his acquittal
KENOSHA, WI—Kyle Rittenhouse, defendant in the 2020 self-defense case, has promised to help out with medical support in the riots...
BREAKING: Pfizer releases new vaccine to protect against the side effects of its COVID vaccine
ATLANTA—Scientists are amazed by the quick development of yet another new vaccine under Project Warp Speed. The new vaccine developed...
Newsom makes first public appearance since getting booster shot
SACRAMENTO--Dispelling any rumors that the COVID vaccine booster shot that he received October 27 caused his absence from the public,...
Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination
US--Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination. The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall...
Man eaten by shark dies from white supremacy coronavirus
(CNN) CORONADO, CA—Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying...
CDC recommends 4th booster shot for those who haven’t died yet
ATLANTA—The Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) is now recommending a fourth COVID vaccine booster shot for all of...
