BREAKING: VP Kamala Harris dispatched to Europe to ‘sleep with anyone I need to to resolve Ukraine crisis’
WASHINGTON, DC—US Vice President Kamala Harris is traveling to a NATO meeting in Munich, Germany Thursday to "sleep with anyone I need...
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Putin promises will only leave a few tourist buses behind near the Ukraine border
MOSCOW—Russian President Putin assured the Western powers that his troops are leaving the Ukraine border. “The high-season is coming and...
Trudeau: Russia may invade Ukraine as long as they don’t honk horns or bring bouncy castles
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared that Russia may invade and occupy Ukraine as long as they don't honk their horns....
King Justin and Queen Sophie of Canada receive the head of trucker Rolf Wolfmanson: ‘Mostly symbolic’
ONTARIO—King Justin Trudeau and Queen Sophie graciously received the head of trucker protester, Rolf Wolfmanson at court. Wolfmanson was one...
To prepare for war, Ukrainian troops undergo emergency Critical Race Theory training
UKRAINE—As the nation awaits a Russian invasion, military leaders ordered all soldiers receive last minute critical race theory lessons in...
Opinion: Canadian Truckers are literal Fascists, but these Neo-Nazis are not
Here we go again! Right-wingers the world over think they are dunking on the libs. You see, America’s CON-servatives kindly...
Ukraine troops wash, wax, vacuum tanks; get ready for capture
UKRAINE—Major General Victor Nikolyuk, Northern Commander ordered all Ukrainian armored vehicles to be vacuumed and washed. “When the Russians capture...
Trudeau declares war on truckers; leads cavalry of inflatable unicorns to take out bouncy castle
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has declared war on the trucker convoy for freedom in Canada and is leading a cavalry...
In effort to be more green, China switches from gas-powered artificial snow makers to 100% slave labor
BEIJING—After several environmentalist groups applied pressure to China about its use of fossil-fuel-powered snow makers to produce snow for the...
BREAKING: Biden sends $80B in weapons to Ukraine to leave behind for Russia when we withdraw
WASHINGTON, DC--Following his stellar exit strategy that worked flawlessly in Afghanistan, President* Biden is sending over $80 billion in military-grade...
