Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
New COVID variant ‘Happicron’ deadliest to old sourpusses and mediocre comedians
ATLANTA—The CDC has announced a new variant of the SARS-CoV-2 virus infecting Los Angeles in the West Hollywood area. It...
Truckers identify as illegal immigrants to sidestep Biden vaccine mandate
BALLSCOLD, MN—Canadian and Mexican truckers entering the US through their respective borders are now identifying as illegal immigrants to sidestep...
M&M’s releases new woke M&LGBTQIAM’s
HACKETSTOWN, NJ—M&M's chocolate candy is going woke with new, inclusive M&LGBTQIAM's with a unique filling: actual sh*t. Mars Wrigley Group,...
Leonardo DiCaprio presents his top 10 bucket list for the 9 years left of Earth
With just a limited amount of time left on the planet Earth, Leonardo DiCaprio’s shared his official bucket list of...
Biden taps Chelsea Clinton in top admin role
WASHINGTON, DC—Chelsea Clinton is moving up in the world. Not only is she the first openly trans daughter of a...
BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
Newsom tackles LA train looting crisis by making cute little BLM sculpture from leftover trash
LOS ANGELES—California Governor Gavin Newsom turned lemons into lemonade today by creating a fun little "Black Lives Matter" sculpture out...
President Biden promises to solve all the problems caused by whoever is president
WASHINGTON, D.C.-- President Joe Biden promised to solve all the problems caused by whoever's president, marking the first year of...
Democrats to use filibuster to keep Republicans from blocking Democrats from killing the filibuster
WASHINGTON, DC—In a clever move, Senate Democrats are planning to use the filibuster to keep Republicans from blocking the Democrats...
