Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
UPENN combines men’s / women’s swim teams; winning now based on talent and looks
PHILADELPHIA—UPENN Board of Trustees will announce tomorrow that the best solution for the swim team’s trans conundrum is to keep...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Abraham Lincoln quote on online arguments
This is one of my favorite Lincoln quotes. It really summarizes the current age of Twitter arguments. Lincoln was so...
Socialists are furious that workers of the world are uniting
OTTAWA, CANADA—Socialists in Canada and in various countries are furious today as workers of the world are uniting to protest...
BREAKING: UN officially recognizes the new country of ‘Truckistan’
OTTAWA, TRUCKISTAN—The United Nations have officially recognized the new country of Truckistan, according to a press release by the UN...
BREAKING: Biden threatens to bomb Ukraine if Russia doesn’t invade it soon
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre announcement, US President* Joe Biden threatened the Ukraine that he was going to "bomb the sh*t...
Meghan & Harry: ‘We spent our last $3700 on publicity’
BROKE magazine interviewed The Duke and Duchess of Montecito on their last day in their once lovely, now empty home....
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
AOC: ‘No question white supremacy caused this devastating winter storm’
NEW YORK CITY—Winter Storm Kenan pummeled New York on Friday and Saturday, dumping over a foot of snow in some parts...
BREAKING: Actual photo of Mike Pence evacuating Justin Trudeau from Canada
Genesius Times have received a photo from an anonymous source of Mike Pence evacuating Justin Trudeau from Canada. It is...
BREAKING: Trump buys Ukraine, renames it ‘MyKraine’ in unprecedented peace deal
KYIV, MYKRAINE—In what is being described as the “Really Big Deal”, President Donald Trump held a press conference this morning...
