Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
BREAKING: FBI apprehends suspect of Colonial Pipeline cyberhack
WASHINGTON, DC—FBI Director Christopher Wray announce today that the FBI has apprehended their primary suspect in the Colonial Pipeline cyberhack,...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Shocking study finds connection between killing babies and declining birth rates
WORLD—Researchers at the National Institute of Health (NIH) published a study showing a shocking connection between killing babies in the...
Google removes Kyle Rittenhouse doodle after receiving complaints
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Search engine behemoth Google commemorated the Kenosha, WI unrest shooter Kyle Rittenhouse today with a fun doodle illustration...
BREAKING: Mostly peaceful Hamas fires mostly peaceful rockets into Israel
(CNN) ISRAEL—The mostly peaceful terrorist organization Hamas has fired a number of mostly peaceful rockets toward Jerusalem today, setting off...
BREAKING: Biden denies hacking of ‘most secure gas pipeline ever’
WASHINGTON, DC—Reports came in over the weekend of a potential hacking of the Colonial Pipeline, which carried fuel from Mexico...
REPORT: Netanyahu to form coalition government by the year 2089
ISRAEL—The Jerusalem Post reported today that with the high number of failed coalition governments, experts predict that Prime Minister Benjamin...
BREAKING: Supreme Court cancels itself after discovering ties to slavery
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts announced that the Supreme Court of the United States is cancelling...
BREAKING: FBI thoroughly investigating the source of Matt Gaetz’s perfect hair
WASHINGTON, DC--The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been working on a shocking case involving US Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL). The...
LeBron James literally oppresses me by making millions playing a game a white man invented
Can we talk about the fact that LeBron James is literally killing me by making millions of dollars playing a...
Texas publishes helpful map for Californians looking to move to the state
AUSTIN—The Texas Board of Californian Resettlement (TBCR) has published a helpful map for all the Californians seeking asylum in their...
