Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
PA election results delayed until 2022 due to use of Common Core math to tally votes
PHILADELPHIA—Election officials in Pennsylvania warned that they may not have results for the presidential election until some time after 2021...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Millions of Americans shocked to discover lots of people disagree with them
(CNN) A day after the national election, millions of Americans were shocked to discover that lots of people disagree with...
Democratic volunteers ensure deceased voters get ‘I voted’ stickers too
PHILADELPHIA—Democratic volunteers across the country spent hours ensuring that deceased voters received their "I voted" stickers on their graves. "They...
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares victory in 2020 presidential election
SOUTH BEND—In a surprise announcement, former Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg has declared victory in the 2020 US presidential election....
BREAKING: Chicago polls turning away voters for not being dead
CHICAGO—Despite repeated efforts to inform the public that living people can vote in Chicago just like dead people, many poll...
Ask your doctor if Trunalim is right for you
Always sleepy? Slurring speech? Forgetting words? Maybe you should ask your doctor if Trunalim (trunalimunumaprzure TDS) is right for you....
Biden accidentally votes for Trump
WILMINGTON, DE—Call it the mother of all campaign gaffes: the Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has accidentally voted for the...
BREAKING: Biden gets largest turnout ever stopping by a Trump rally
BUTLER, PA—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden got his largest turnout ever for a campaign rally as he made a last-minute...
Leftists demand peaceful transfer of power by destroying the country
US--Leftists across the country are demanding a peaceful transfer of power after the presidential election by firebombing police, looting, and...
Biden promises to transgender in first 100 days, becoming the first woman president
In a last minute pander, Joe Biden has announced that, if he's elected, he will transition to a woman to...
