It’s Last Chance for Iran Day…Again 
Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack 
Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores 
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire 
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
Donald Trump is the first back-to-back impeachment champion ever
WASHINGTON, DC—There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now. Donald Trump has defeated the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local dad finally gets a rest after exhausting week of turning off the lights for everyone else
Local father of five adorable munchkins, Peter Bougereaux was finally able to rest on the couch this evening after an...
BREAKING: Joe Biden gets stuck sniffing woman who used Gorilla Glue for hairspray
BATON ROUGE, LA—TikToker Tessica Brown thought she had seen the end of her problems after uploading a video in which...
Cuomo hires crack team to find the ‘real killer’ of NY nursing home COVID victims
NEW YORK CITY—New York Governor Andrew Coumo has announced that he is taking responsibility for the COVID deaths in his...
Disney gives all princesses a brave makeover to fight wrongthink
VISTA DE MAL, CA—In its campaign to fight wrongthink, Disney has given all of their celebrated princesses a stunning and...
Disney fires Jabba the Hutt after controversial tweets
VISTA DE MAL—"Jabba the Hutt is not currently employed by Lucasfilm and there are no plans for him to be...
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United States. Cuban on Tuesday told...
To be more inclusive, Disney fires only woman on ‘The Mandalorian’
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In an effort to be more inclusive, Disney has fired Gina Carano, the only female on their...
Teachers unions call for schools to be closed forever so children never get sick again
UNITED STATES—In a joint letter today, many of the nation’s most influential teachers’ unions – from the AFT, to the...
Dems schedule impeachment for every past and future Republican president
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the successful trial of former president Donald Trump, House Democrats have scheduled impeachment proceedings for every past and...
