BREAKING: Biden pardons several ‘totally innocent’ people for crimes they didn’t commit 
BREAKING: Biden pardons all criminals except cute old grandma who waved flag in Capitol Jan 6 
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider 
BREAKING: Many ‘totally innocent’ people begging for presidential pardons for the crimes they didn’t commit 
Trump Hollywood Envoy’s replaces fire-damaged Hollywood sign with “Trump Won” 
Local courts flooded with Karens demanding name change
After recent events giving Karens a bad name, Karens across the fruited plains of America have inundated municipal civil courts...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Looting-free zone signs introduced as protest countermeasures in major cities
As cities across the countries burn, calls for greater police action in suppressing peaceful yet violent protests have been met...
STUDY: 66% of rioters are zombies previously killed by COVID-19
This coronavirus does things to people nobody could have possibly predicted. We already know it makes you smell funny and...
Minnesota man dies from coronavirus shortly after police officer kills him
A Minneapolis Police spokesman has reported that George Floyd, who died Monday after a bystander video showed him begging for...
REPORT: Genesius Times overtakes CNN as world leader of Fake News that’s not on fire
Well well well. Do we have here a case of the dog catching the car, or more specifically the fans...
Protesters around the country furious over the killing of George Foreman
The sheer embarrassment of it all. Here you have a world boxing champion, one of the strongest men to have...
‘Minnesota Nice’ not just a slogan but a way of life
There's just something about Minnesota. Maybe it's because it smells like cheese all the time where nobody can figure out...
Nation reminisces a happier time when the only worries were deadly pandemics and murder hornets
MINNEAPOLIS — Millions across America reminisced about the happy and peaceful time just a week ago when the only worries...
GT’s Journalist Guide to Minneapolis Riots
Instead of that, say this!
New CDC guidelines: coronavirus does not spread when you’re looting, burning your city to the ground
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have released new guidelines again concerning the spread of coronavirus. "There is...
