BREAKING: AOC Barely Survives Murder Attempt by Maskless Neil Gorsuch
WASHINGTON, DC—Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch remains at large after a blatant attempt to assassinate Congresswoman and January 6 hero,...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Biden deploys 2 AT-ATs to defend White House against ‘rebel scum’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has deployed two All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) vehicles to the White House to defend against "rebel...
Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run
SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...
AOC: ‘Insurrectionists are just mad they can’t date me’
Did you know that all those frustrated insurrectionists are just mad they can't date me? It's true. That's why I've...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly murdered’ in Kazakhstan insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC--Almost a year after the War of January 6th to the date, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has issued a...
AOC launches dating app for Republicans who can’t date her
US—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) launched a firestorm after pictures were released showing her maskless in Miami as New York endured...
BREAKING: Joe Biden has killed Betty White
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden promised a winter of sickness and death and he's starting to put his money where his mouth...
BLM looking forward to some early Black Friday looting following Rittenhouse acquittal
KENOSHA, WI—Black Lives Matter activists across the country are looking forward to some early Black Friday looting once Kyle Rittenhouse...
CNN: Why napping during climate speeches is good for the environment
(CNN)Taking naps on the job is the new technique to help the environment, science says. So, when the leader of...
Shoppers already lining up for Black Friday deals outside of cargo ship off California coast
LOS ANGELES—Shoppers have already started lining up for this year's Black Friday deals at beaches across California. They have their...
