BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
AOC horrified Russia is using ‘gas-powered’ tanks to run over Ukrainians instead of hybrids
KYIV—The streets of the capital have turned into chaos after Russia has invaded the Ukraine with tanks and armored vehicles....
AOC asks Putin for small part of Ukraine to start her utopia in
BROOKLYN—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has asked Russian despot Putin for a small part of the Ukraine she’s had her eye on for...
In effort to be more green, China switches from gas-powered artificial snow makers to 100% slave labor
BEIJING—After several environmentalist groups applied pressure to China about its use of fossil-fuel-powered snow makers to produce snow for the...
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
AOC: ‘No question white supremacy caused this devastating winter storm’
NEW YORK CITY—Winter Storm Kenan pummeled New York on Friday and Saturday, dumping over a foot of snow in some parts...
BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
BREAKING: AOC Barely Survives Murder Attempt by Maskless Neil Gorsuch
WASHINGTON, DC—Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch remains at large after a blatant attempt to assassinate Congresswoman and January 6 hero,...
Biden deploys 2 AT-ATs to defend White House against ‘rebel scum’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has deployed two All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) vehicles to the White House to defend against "rebel...
Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run
SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...
