BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
Elon Musk
‘Matrix’ Producers replace ‘red pill’ with another blue pill from Pfizer
HOLLYWOOD—When the directors of the original Matrix film envisioned the iconic red pill scene, they had no idea that all...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
‘Businessmen are parasites’ says rep who lives solely on extorted taxpayer money
WASHINGTON, DC—Brave Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), who has been an ardent fighter for the unemployed worker, recently set aim on...
Time accidentally names African-American Elon Musk ‘Person of the Year’ because they thought he was black
NEW YORK—Time Magazine has issued an apology for selecting the South African-American Elon Musk as its "Person of the Year"...
Jeff Bezos debuts private “Tax the Rich” rocket ship
Multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos launched into outer space today proudly displaying his newest rocket ship with a not-so-subtle-message.The world's wealthiest man...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $30B and immediately deletes it
AUSTIN—Business magnate Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform Twitter for $30 billion and promptly deleted in his...
Dilithium crystals found in Utah, Elon Musk promises warp drive by 2027
We found Elon Musk at his Fremont Production facility and managed an interview: GT: The discovery of the dilithium crystals...
Elon Musk claims his 2025 Model 3 Neuralink vehicles will run on ‘Wishful Thinking’
Elon Musk has been working on his Neuralink system for decades. He now claims he can cure anxiety, depression, hangovers,...
Elon Musk’s Mars volunteer list overwhelmed by Dutch Puritans trying to leave the planet
HAWTHORNE, CA- Elon Musk has announced that Space X will no longer be taking volunteers for the first voyage to...
