BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Joe Biden assures son Hunter that any gun control laws he signs won’t apply to him
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has assured his son Hunter that any gun control measures he signs into law won't apply...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Matthew McConaughey shows clips of him being irresponsible with guns before demanding people be responsible with guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Matthew McConaughey made a special appearance behind the podium at the White House briefing room on Tuesday, June 7,...
FACT CHECK: Bill Gates does NOT want to kill half the world’s population, just 2 billion of them
SEATTLE—Misinformation has run rampant regarding Bill Gates and his depopulation intentions since his TED talk in 2010 when he claimed...
Burger King releases new gay burger topped with monkeypox or AIDS
Burger King wants its customers to be fully immersed in Pride this year by releasing their new Gay Whoppers, which...
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
Gender reveal party delayed 3 years while parents decide identity for child
CALICO, CA—A local gender reveal party has been delayed for three years while the parents decide what identity the child...
BREAKING: Russia threatens to nuke East & West coast US; most Americans pretty okay with that
MOSCOW—A member of Russia's Parliament warned the U.S. that President Vladimir Putin could wipe out the East and West Coasts with...
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau’s security to use only NERF guns from now on
OTTAWA—In a bold move, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has prohibited guns for people protecting him and will instead will...
EXCLUSIVE: Uvalde Chief told cops to ‘stand down’ until they learned shooters ‘preferred pronouns’
UVALDE, TEXAS—Many have wondered why it took so long for Uvalde police to respond to a homocidal maniac at an...
