Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
BREAKING: Biden threatens to bomb Ukraine if Russia doesn’t invade it soon
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre announcement, US President* Joe Biden threatened the Ukraine that he was going to "bomb the sh*t...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Meghan & Harry: ‘We spent our last $3700 on publicity’
BROKE magazine interviewed The Duke and Duchess of Montecito on their last day in their once lovely, now empty home....
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
AOC: ‘No question white supremacy caused this devastating winter storm’
NEW YORK CITY—Winter Storm Kenan pummeled New York on Friday and Saturday, dumping over a foot of snow in some parts...
BREAKING: Actual photo of Mike Pence evacuating Justin Trudeau from Canada
Genesius Times have received a photo from an anonymous source of Mike Pence evacuating Justin Trudeau from Canada. It is...
BREAKING: Trump buys Ukraine, renames it ‘MyKraine’ in unprecedented peace deal
KYIV, MYKRAINE—In what is being described as the “Really Big Deal”, President Donald Trump held a press conference this morning...
New White House cat bears strong resemblance to missing cat from Pennsylvania
Willow Glen farmer Andy “Buck’ Clydebrook shook his head when told that his cat, Willow, missing for a while, looked...
Apple releases blatantly racist ‘man stealing watermelon’ emoji
CUPERTINO, CA—Tech giant Apple just released a blatantly racist "man stealing watermelon" emoji, according to sources. "I don't know who...
Biden announces ‘Top Ten’ demands for Russia and Putin
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden announced his Top Ten demands for Russia and Putin as tensions at the Ukraine border escalate:1)....
Chicago Mayor Lightfoot offers cash reward to take down Batman
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has stepped it up a notch by offering a cash reward for anyone who can capture and...
