BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
Zelensky launches new reality TV show: Dancing with the Tsars in bold war-fundraising effort 
Biden admin to require proof of vaccination to receive free crack
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration has made it clear that proof of full vaccination will be required to receive the administration's...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Struggling Mark Zuckerberg launches GoFundMe page as net worth drops under $100 billion
Mark Zuckerberg has started a GoFundMe donation page as his net worth plummeted to under $100 billion following his company's...
Newsom mandates a 10k-seat ‘Looters Section’ at Superbowl LVI
LOS ANGELES—Spectators paying upwards of $10,000 (yes, you read that right) to watch the LA Rams and Cincinnati Bengals slug...
In major policy win, Biden admin offers $30 million in grants to unload Hunter’s crack pipes
WASHNGTON, DC—In a flagship grant program, titled ”Pipes with the Bidens,” the flailing administration has advanced their most ingenious piece...
Biden HHS giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Health and Human Services Department is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Yoko Ono threatens to add her music to Spotify if they don’t remove Joe Rogan
NEW YORK—With many artists threatening to remove their (or other's) music from the streaming platform Spotify if they don't remove...
BREAKING: Biden FDA approves emergency use authorization of crack as COVID treatment
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's Food & Drug Administration Commissioner Hunter Biden has fast-tracked the emergency use authorization for smoking crack as...
BREAKING: France to deploy troops to Caribbean islands of Ukraine in the ‘Speed Bump’ formation
PARIS—French President Emmanuel Macron announced the deployment of a few companies of French troops into the Ukraine conflict. Taken from...
BREAKING: Trudeau outlaws honking, bans all Canadian geese from country
OTTAWA—Canadian Fascist Party Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has outlawed all honking in response to the 2022 Trucker Convoy for Freedom...
Oprah explains to Whoopi how real power is when white people can’t fire you
NEW YORK—Whoopi Goldberg, after being suspended from her job at ABC’s ‘The View’ met with Oprah to vent about the...
