Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
Neil Young diagnosed with SIS; put on career ventilator, fans hold vigil for Spotify sales
REDWOOD CITY—Singer, songwriter Neil Young was admitted into the PR firm of APCO last night, suffering from delusions of importance...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden declares ‘All borders should be protected except for ours’
WASHINGTON, DC—At a press conference on the Ukraine crisis, President* Biden declared that "All borders should be protected except for...
Facebook launches new ‘vaccinated heart’ react icon complete with myocarditis
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, which is also known by its new name Fascbook has launched a new react button icon to...
Russia amasses troops at Ukraine border to spell ‘Let’s Go Brandon!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Pentagon officials have released of aerial photos of Russian tanks, trucks and equipment amassing on the Ukraine border positioned...
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
New COVID variant ‘Happicron’ deadliest to old sourpusses and mediocre comedians
ATLANTA—The CDC has announced a new variant of the SARS-CoV-2 virus infecting Los Angeles in the West Hollywood area. It...
Truckers identify as illegal immigrants to sidestep Biden vaccine mandate
BALLSCOLD, MN—Canadian and Mexican truckers entering the US through their respective borders are now identifying as illegal immigrants to sidestep...
M&M’s releases new woke M&LGBTQIAM’s
HACKETSTOWN, NJ—M&M's chocolate candy is going woke with new, inclusive M&LGBTQIAM's with a unique filling: actual sh*t. Mars Wrigley Group,...
Leonardo DiCaprio presents his top 10 bucket list for the 9 years left of Earth
With just a limited amount of time left on the planet Earth, Leonardo DiCaprio’s shared his official bucket list of...
Biden taps Chelsea Clinton in top admin role
WASHINGTON, DC—Chelsea Clinton is moving up in the world. Not only is she the first openly trans daughter of a...
