BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
House passes latest coronavirus stimulus bill containing 12 pounds of literal horse dung in it
WASHINGTON — The House on Friday narrowly passed a $3 trillion coronavirus relief package crafted by Democrats that would include another round...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
BREAKING: 23andMe reveals Nancy Pelosi shares 99.97% of her DNA with the Wuhan bat
Have you seen the Wuhan bat? The teeth alone are scary enough but put that together with the rest and...
CDC releases official ‘contact tracer’ uniform and haircut
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released the official uniform and haircut for the contact tracer agents...
CNN CEO selects Greta Thunberg to conduct triple bypass surgery on him
CNN CEO, Jeff Zucker, is in need of triple heart bypass surgery and he has selected none other than world-renowned...
Police shoot local dad for violating Justin Trudeau’s finger gun ban
FAIRVIEW, ALBERTA — Following Justin Trudeau's recent ban of 1,500 makes and models of firearms, Canadian officials marked their first...
New border wall now totally impermeable to everything except 2×6″ bricks of every drug known to man
Is it just me or does that wall seem like it's full of holes? Not just a few here and...
BREAKING: Congress repeals 13th Amendment to make all Americans debt slaves
These United States had a program of Mandatory Volunteerism a few hundred years ago. It had a catchy name......hold on........give...
Coronavirus holds press conference to tell us how to keep safe from the government
After months of government press conferences telling the people of the world how to keep safe from coronavirus, Coronavirus has...
BREAKING: Fauci used Chinese fortune cookie lucky numbers in COVID models
Genesius Times has discovered that top US health experts including Dr. Anthony Fauci used the lucky numbers from a local...
