Democrats take a break from worshipping a fentanyl-addict as a god to say they don’t want a king 
Leave Every Light in the House On and the Doors Open and Other Great Gift Ideas for Father’s Day 
BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham hospitalized with prolonged erection after Israel bombs Iran 
Porn star to throw in a little singing in her next porno 
BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse searchlight is seen above Los Angeles amid riots 
REPORT: Ginsburg to outlast Trump by drinking from Holy Grail
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is doing just fine and hopes to live well into the future after a quick trip...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Congressional turd proposes 70% tax on rich for gold-plated sewers
The first-ever living turd to be elected to the US House of Representatives, Chet (@ChetTheTurd), is not wasting any time...
Ocasio-Cortez done trying to sell socialism; skipping to genocide and starvation stages
According to Marxist philosophy, there are several stages of socialism. The first is the argumentation stage and establishing the moral...
Social justice warriors condemn white blood cells for oppressing cells of color
A new trend among self-professed social justice warriors at American universities is a medical treatment aimed at eliminating white blood...
Most diverse Congress ever sworn in includes living turd
It was a historic swearing in ceremony Thursday as the most diverse United States House of Representatives was sworn in...
Transgender woman destroys game shop; wonders why people don’t treat her like a lady
In a barbaric rage, a biological man who prefers to be called a woman, destroyed a game store in Albuquerque,...
“Terrifying”: thousands injured while looking at monuments during government shutdown
Thousands of people have been reported injured while looking at inanimate stone monuments across the United States spurring worries about...
Millions of young people anxiously waiting to be told what they should be offended by in 2019
Millions of college students and millennials are anxiously awaiting to be told what they should be offended by in the...
Feminist Christian wants to replace ‘Amen’ with ‘Awomyn’
In the spirit of Pope Francis' initiative to change the wording of the Lord's Prayer, local feminist and Pinterest user,...
Local child miraculously has only broken 18 bones after three days on hoverboard
A local 8-year-old girl, Felicity, is experiencing a Christmas miracle not breaking every bone in her body after three days...
