Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Congressional hearing highlights appalling lack of gender equity among crash test dummies
In a shocking and eye-opening Congressional testimony, experts in the field of automotive safety have highlighted the appalling lack of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Fox news replaces Tucker Carlson with AI Tuckerbot to assure the nation everything is fine
In a move that has stunned the media world, Fox News has announced that they will be replacing longtime anchor...
BREAKING: Fox trades Tucker Carlson for Don Lemon and 6 draft picks just before trade deadline
In a shocking move just before the Cable News trade deadline, Fox News has reportedly traded star anchor Tucker Carlson...
Chicagoans now boarding up their car windows to get around safer
CHICAGO—Chicagoans have come up with a revolutionary new solution: boarding up their car windows and windshields to avoid rioters bashing...
OP-ED: A Heartfelt Letter to All the Legacy Blue Checks Who Lost Their Blue Checkmarks on Twitter
We’ve seen the suffering and misery that ordinary Americans have to endure on a daily basis. It isn’t funny in...
Local kid who only watches TV commercials surprised to learn that there are white people
In a shocking discovery that has left his parents scratching their heads, local 6-year-old Timmy Johnson has realized that there...
NOW HIRING: Copyeditor for Random Memes We Find on the Internet
Annoyed by all those misspellings in the memes we find online? Well we've got the job for you! In an...
Biden Reveals He’s ‘Lack Toast and Tolerant’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden revealed today that he only drinks lactaid milk because he’s “lack toast and tolerant.” “I’m lack toast...
AOC: If Walmart can’t handle constant looting, they shouldn’t be in business
I don't know who needs to hear this but if Walmart can't handle a little looting at their stores like...
Alcoholics Anonymous hires Dylan Mulvaney as most effective way to get people to stop drinking
In a groundbreaking move, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has announced that they have secured the sponsorship of every major beer company...
