BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack 
Local liberal agonizes over which cold-blooded murderer to support today 
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so 
Air Force One draws giant penis in the sky to signify that Biden is screwing America
US—In a shocking display of aerial artwork, Air Force One recently made headlines as it drew a giant, unmistakable image...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Dems worried no one will be able to normalize pedophilia if Hollywood Writers strike
Democrats across the nation are expressing deep concerns about the potential impact of the Hollywood Writers Guild strike on the...
BREAKING: Anti-fascist Democrats excited for government to bail out failing banks
In a surprising twist of irony, anti-fascist Democrats across the country are eagerly anticipating President Joe Biden's decision to bail...
Local white man has saved thousands since companies have stopped putting people like him in ads
In a stunning twist of fate, a middle-aged white man named Gary Thompson has reportedly saved thousands of dollars since...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
OP-ED: I Failed My Math Exam. This Is Why We Need Common Sense Pencil Control.
I received a failing grade on a recent math exam in school and as you can imagine, I’m livid. I...
NFL Draft update: Chicago Bears trade first round pick for magic beans
In a stunning turn of events during the NFL Draft, the Chicago Bears shocked the football world by trading their...
Biden DOJ investigating if Nashville cops committed hate crime by misgendering trans school shooter
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Department of Justice (DOJ) has announced an investigation into whether Nashville law enforcement committed a hate crime...
NHL announces Baptist Pride jerseys in the interest of ‘diversity and inclusion’
In a stunning move towards diversity and inclusion, the National Hockey League (NHL) has announced the introduction of Baptist Pride...
Bud Light launches ‘Bug Light’, the Official Beer of the Green New Deal
In a move that's sure to leave beer enthusiasts buzzing with excitement, Bud Light has announced the release of their...
