BREAKING: NBA finally ends discrimination based on height
NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association (NBA) has ended its longstanding discriminatory policy on height after many allegations of teams excluding...
Year: 2021
NBA replaces basketball with ‘ball of knives’ in honor of Ma’Khia Bryant
LOS ANGELES—Communist China puppet activist and occasional basketball star LeBron James has created a new way in standing in solidarity...
Kerry proposes tax on breathing to fight climate change
WASHINGTON, DC—John Kerry, the President Biden’s Envoy for Climate, suggested in an interview today that the federal government should impose...
Minneapolis PD to start arresting random white people in reparations for George Floyd murder
MINNEAPOLIS—As part of the Derek Chauvin conviction for murdering George Floyd, the Minneapolis Police Department has been ordered to start...
Californian arrested for expressing wrong political opinion
LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department arrested local LA resident Max Summers earlier today for expressing the wrong political...
BREAKING: Thin Blue Line supporters loot Walmart after Derek Chauvin conviction
MINNEAPOLIS–Racist supporters Thin Blue Line supporters descended on a local Walmart to loot, pillage, and "burn the motherf****r down" in protest...
FBI is seeking information related to the insurrectionist pictured here
The FBI is seeking information that will assist in identifying the person pictured above who is actively instigating violence across...
UPS commits to burning half of your packages if Derek Chauvin is acquitted
ATLANTA—UPS has increased the stakes in the woke corporation olympics. The package "delivery" service has committed to burning half of...
Minnesota 2021 spring Riot Season set to open this week
MINNEAPOLIS—Minnesota's 2021 spring Riot Season is set to open in most areas of the state this week. Looters and rioters...
Tylenol recalled after someone who took it tripped over his owns shoes, then fell into a coma
WASHINGTON, DC—The Food and Drug Administration issued a recall today on the distribution of Tylenol after someone who took it...
