Local leftist peels off ‘All Refugees Welcome’ bumper sticker after finding out that some refugees are white 
Buc-ee’s opens first store in Vatican City minutes after cardinals elect first American pope 
BREAKING: Catholic Cardinals Elect Joe Biden as Pope After Mysterious 3 AM Vote Surge 
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’ 
BREAKING: India bombs Pakistan after they refused to send their ‘bobs and vagene’ 
BREAKING: Pelosi tests positive for COVID but is asymptomatic due to all the alcohol in her blood
WASHINGTON, DC—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement the California Democrat released Thursday, but...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
Biden’s puppet master revealed in heartwarming White House ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare White House ceremony, the puppet master for President* Joe Biden was revealed to the world as...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
Russian Joker spotted in Ukraine
KYIV, UKRAINE—How far will the Russian ‘Joker’ go, carrying out his mad plan?Will the ‘batshit crazy virus’ inside his head...
CNN: Elon Musk could threaten free speech on Twitter by literally allowing people to speak freely
(CNN) Elon Musk became the largest shareholder of Twitter on Monday, which could threaten free speech on the platform by...
BREAKING: New York to pay pedophiles $100k to relocate to NYC from Florida
NEW YORK—Mayor Eric Adams has launched a new campaign to lure pedophiles and groomers to the city following the passage...
Chris Rock avoids all ‘appearance’ jokes with feisty crowd at Mos Eisley Cantina
TATOOINE—Star pilots crowded the Mos Eisley Cantina last Saturday night as comedian, Chris Rock opened to a sold out crowd....
Amazon’s ‘The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power’ replaces all villains with Putin
HOLLYWOOD—The multi-million dollar TV series Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is set to enlighten us in September...
BREAKING: New York passes ‘Don’t Say Biology’ bill
NEW YORK—In response to the Florida legislation dubbed the "Don't Say Gay" bill, New York has passed the "Don't Say...
