Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
BREAKING: Pfizer releases new vaccine to protect against the side effects of its COVID vaccine
ATLANTA—Scientists are amazed by the quick development of yet another new vaccine under Project Warp Speed. The new vaccine developed...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local woman devastated to learn pumpkin spice lattes don’t have any pumpkin in them
Having just drained her 743rd pumpkin spice latte (or PSL as she calls them), local woman was shaken to the...
OPED: It’s okay to be racist if your name is Biden
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's okay to be racist if your name is Biden. This...
BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse Found Guilty of Murdering Prosecutor’s Career
KENOSHA, WI—A career suicide turned in a career murder when Kyle Rittenhouse took the stand to defend himself. After a...
Buttigieg to fix supply chain issues by making all US highways gay
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg pointed to homophobia as the reason for America's current supply chain issues during an appearance on MSDNC's Morning Fellatio on...
EDITORIAL: English transphobic is grammar
There are nothing in this world which aren't transphobic. Literally everything are transphobic, which include the English grammars. Yes, even...
Newsom makes first public appearance since getting booster shot
SACRAMENTO--Dispelling any rumors that the COVID vaccine booster shot that he received October 27 caused his absence from the public,...
Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination
US--Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination. The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall...
Man eaten by shark dies from white supremacy coronavirus
(CNN) CORONADO, CA—Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying...
