BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California 
Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires 
Disney recasts Star Wars with Fauci as Princess Leia
HOLLYWOOD—This Christmas, Disney has a treat for us: the re-re-release of Star Wars with Dr. Anthony Fauci staring as Princess...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden: ‘Let’s not forget those brave Chinese kamikazes’ on Pearl Harbor anniversary
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden honored the "brave Chines Kamikazis" and other military personnel who attacked the United States December 7, 1941....
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci mixes COVID variants to create even more deadly variant “Deltacron”
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Fauci has been working tirelessly over the past year and a half to stay relevant for literally forever,...
Biden hiring unemployed Antifa activists as National Socialist Vaccine Police
WASHINGTON, DC—Nothing says "anti-fascism" quite like enforcing the medical tyranny of a Deep State puppet! That's what thousands of newly...
Australians shocked to wake up in concentration camps after giving up their guns
DARWIN–Thousands of Australians were shocked to find themselves in concentration camps just a few short years after giving up their...
LeBron changes last name to ‘Slavery’ to get back at Enes Kanter Freedom
LOS ANGELES—The growing feud between NBA players Enes Kanter and LeBron James just got more intense as Kanter became an...
Chris Cuomo sues CNN for wrongfully terminating him for being a cuomosexual
ATLANTA—Former CNN anchor Chris Cuomo is suing the media company, saying they wrongfully terminated him for being a "cuomosexual". "Did...
Rep who calls all Americans terrorists is offended at being called a terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) who regularly calls all Americans terrorists was recently offended when Rep Lauren Boebert made...
Modern-day Hanukkah miracle: Local man fills up car with enough oil to last 1 day, lasts 8 days
Local New York City resident Isaac Goldberg is very familiar with Hanukkah, having celebrated the holiday since he was a...
BREAKING: US proposes new lockdown to stop the Omicron variant
US—Citizens across the US proposed new lockdown measures in the face of the scary-sounding Omicron coronavirus variant. "It's pretty clear...
