Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
BREAKING: Bernie accepts new vacation home and drops out of presidential race
Democratic socialist Senator Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the 2020 presidential race and begun moving into his new vacation...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Thousands of progressives commit suicide after Trump declares: ‘I want to save American lives’
Thousands of brave liberals across the country have committed suicide in response to President Trump's declaration in a COVID-19 press...
Millions of children thank COVID-19 for getting them out of sitting with creepy bunnies this year
Millions of children around the country and indeed the world are thanking COVID-19 for getting them out of sitting with...
STUDY: Exactly zero people give a shit about what Bill Gates thinks about coronavirus
A new study by the Pew Pew Center shows that exactly zero people throughout the world give a shit about...
BREAKING: Historian discovers provision that cancels Bill of Rights in the event of a really bad cold
At this juncture, it seems safe to say that somebody in the Constitutional Convention of 1787 may very well have...
Police violate social distancing to arrest man for violating social distancing by practicing social distancing
Los Angeles County Sheriffs violated social distancing measures in order to arrest a man for violating social distancing measures by...
Flu virus claims ‘I get no respect, no respect at all’
Of course the coronavirus is serious business. One additional death compounding an already active Flu season is too many. But...
Florida man dies from COVID-19 minutes after dying in a car accident
Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying disease. Florida...
BREAKING: Congressional Democrats produce enough hot air to qualify as ventilators
Ventilators. Ventilators. Ventilators. If anyone has not heard that word less than a thousand times over the last several weeks...
Breaking: New Orleans Coronavirus outbreak caused by Popeye’s new fried bat combo
Upping the ante in the Chicken flame wars, Popeye’s released their boldest meal to date. Playing off of the Corona...
