Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Dems worried no one will be able to normalize pedophilia if Hollywood Writers strike
Democrats across the nation are expressing deep concerns about the potential impact of the Hollywood Writers Guild strike on the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Anti-fascist Democrats excited for government to bail out failing banks
In a surprising twist of irony, anti-fascist Democrats across the country are eagerly anticipating President Joe Biden's decision to bail...
Local white man has saved thousands since companies have stopped putting people like him in ads
In a stunning twist of fate, a middle-aged white man named Gary Thompson has reportedly saved thousands of dollars since...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
OP-ED: I Failed My Math Exam. This Is Why We Need Common Sense Pencil Control.
I received a failing grade on a recent math exam in school and as you can imagine, I’m livid. I...
NFL Draft update: Chicago Bears trade first round pick for magic beans
In a stunning turn of events during the NFL Draft, the Chicago Bears shocked the football world by trading their...
Biden DOJ investigating if Nashville cops committed hate crime by misgendering trans school shooter
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Department of Justice (DOJ) has announced an investigation into whether Nashville law enforcement committed a hate crime...
NHL announces Baptist Pride jerseys in the interest of ‘diversity and inclusion’
In a stunning move towards diversity and inclusion, the National Hockey League (NHL) has announced the introduction of Baptist Pride...
Bud Light launches ‘Bug Light’, the Official Beer of the Green New Deal
In a move that's sure to leave beer enthusiasts buzzing with excitement, Bud Light has announced the release of their...
BREAKING: Biden shocked to learn he’s running for president again in 2024
In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden reportedly had a major "uh-oh" moment when he learned that he...
