BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack 
Local liberal agonizes over which cold-blooded murderer to support today 
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so 
Local woman’s faith shook to the core when unexpected thunderstorm ruins her outdoor wedding
"It was not supposed to happen like this." Jessica Trayler exclusively recounted for us as unexpected thunderstorms rolled through Northern...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local man accidentally expels wife’s demons while reciting prayers from dusty old Latin book
While cleaning out his attic, a local man stumbled upon a dusty old prayer book written in Latin that is...
Town prohibits wishing people “happy holidays” as it is too “Christmas-y”
The Town Council of Wannanacho, Oregon passed a resolution restricting holiday greetings between people this week. It was already illegal...
Guy in cubicle certain that his next sniffle will be the last
After 783 continuous workdays in which he coughed and sniffled every 15 seconds, the guy in the cubicle next to...
George H W Bush died from death
Rumors have spread like wildfire about the former president's death. What was the cause? Health experts have now confirmed that...
Ocasio-Cortez says Tide pod challenge can work if it’s a ‘democratic’ Tide pod challenge
Facing mounting criticism on her position about the dangerous Tide pod challenge, newly-elected Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is doubling down. "The...
BREAKING: Scholar discovers Bible verse saying Bible is the sole infallible rule of faith and practice
An ancient texts scholar has discovered the Bible verse that proves that the Bible is the sole infallible rule of...
Local toddler barely escapes horrifying persecution of being given the “red” cup.
"It was probably the worst experience of his life," little Jared's mother explained. Her son narrowly escaped the horrifying experience...
Thousands of migrants demand ‘human rights’ by bashing people and destroying others’ property
The migrant caravan seeking asylum and 'human rights' has reached the US border and started bashing border patrol agents and...
Experts say global warming will finally match margin of error in 178 years
The Earth's temperatures continue to skyrocket upwards, say 102% of global climate experts. "It's getting hot in here!" NOAA scientist...
